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“you shouldn’t be depressed, people have it worse than you”

finally, after years of searching, the person with the worst life ever is found. formally, they are granted permission to be sad. but only them. only they have earned it. no sads for anyone else at all ever

Grief is not a disorder, a disease or a sign of weakness. It is an emotional, physical and spiritual necessity, the price you pay for love. The only cure for grief is to grieve.
Earl Grollman (via amandaonwriting)



When he died, his wife commissioned this sculpture, as an expression of her love for him:

Location: Mt Macedon Cemetery in Victoria, Australia

Beautiful. <3

This song is relevant. Don’t know if she knew this one, but it fits.

Iam so sad about Ben Breedlove. I watched the video he left for the world to see, and him seeing me in detail, in his vision really warmed my heart. I broke down, Iam to tears because I hate how life is so unfair. This has really touched my heart in a way I cant describe, this is why I do what I do. Why I write my life, and why I love you all so much. Life is really fucked up sometimes, but I know Ben is at Peace, and I hope he gets a chance to sit and talk with my Dad. We love you Ben. Forever. Thank you for loving me. To Ben’s family, you raised a real hero, he’s definately mine. You have my love.

Scott Mescudi


This Too Shall Pass…Right? (London, 2009)


This Too Shall Pass…Right? (London, 2009)

One down, more to go…

We’ve survived Thanksgiving. Now what?

The December holidays are on their way. A post I wrote on Widowed Village earlier this year explores the feelings of first holidays without a lost loved one.

I didn’t just marry my husband, I married the holidays. There was no way around it. No ‘sitting this one out.’ My ‘why-bother?’ self was bombarded with celebrations. My new husband and his family lived by the mantra that ‘holidays are for the kids’—and I had kids.”

Oh, how I wish it was just another day, like it was in my angsty young adulthood. But, it won’t be just another day…because of him, because of his family, because ‘holidays are for the kids’—for better or worse.”

Questions to ponder:

Think about the person/people you have lost. How did they change the holidays for you when they were alive? How have the holidays changed since their loss?

If you want to share, tweet your answer to me @atsirkdeer with hashtag #griefsgiving, or post to the Griefsgiving Facebook page.